Single Or Married: You Never Stop Growing
Is your Inner Relationship Coach keeping you single?
What Do You Need To Let Go Of To Find Your True Love?
Are You Ready For True Love Or Just Wanting It?
Do You Know Your Relationship Set-Point?
How to Change Your Dating Karma
Facing the Fear to Get to Love
Building Dating Confidence by Facing What You Fear
Why You Shouldn’t Trust Your Feelings In Relationships
Romancing Yourself To Love
ARE WE ALL JUST JADED HAGS? WHETHER TO GOOGLE YOUR DATE OR NOT
How Not To Get Beaten Up In a Club
So I'm not bitch enough?
Oooooooooooookaaaaayyyyy....that might explain some things....
Thanks, Mistress Matisse!!!
Posted by auntie grizelda on June 7, 2010 at 3:14 AM · Report
23
@12: I second that--most dating books really ARE crap. And WTF is with "dating COACHES"?!?
Soooooo
I'm not bitch enough?... hmmmmmmmm....that might explain some things....
Thanks, Mistress Matisse!
Posted by auntie grizelda on June 7, 2010 at 3:19 AM · Report
24
Sigggghhh..sorry
slow computer again!
Posted by auntie grizelda on June 7, 2010 at 3:20 AM · Report
Unregistered Comment on June 8, 2010 at 1:58 AM25
26
The reason these books don't speak to you, MM, is because you actually have two brain cells to rub together. It has nothing to do with "normal".
Maybe your inability to have a good date with a "normal" is because 1) you don't share the same interests and 2) you are filled with contempt for them.
Or maybe you're picking jerks. Maybe the same jerks who decided the key to finding a woman was to "be more jerky".
Posted by ams_ on June 8, 2010 at 3:24 PM · Report
27
Dating is artificial and silly. Of course it's hard to do. It's much better to hit on your friends girlfriends. That way, you'll have no friends (which are a waste of time, really) and you won't have to go on dates (which are a waste of time, really). Eventually, you'll either wind up with an ex-friend's girlfriend or run out of friends. Which is OK, because without any friends or a girlfriend, you'll have plenty of time to find new friends.
See? Easy.
Posted by ctmcmull on June 8, 2010 at 4:26 PM · Report
28
Look, the problem is that dating advice books are not like books about BDSM. Your BDSM books are how-to's on a specialized topic -- they're the sexual equivalent of "Perl for Dummies." Dating books are for people who have not mastered a basic life skill; their target audience is unsuccessful, broken-spirited, and kind of dumb. They're the sexual equivalent of "The Secret."
It's not that straight/vanilla people are so awful compared to the BDSM community. It's that people who need a book to tell them how to go on an ordinary date are pretty screwed up.
Posted by drizzle89 on June 8, 2010 at 5:41 PM · Report
29
I thought your column was kind of sweet. I'm not really sure I see your dichotomy between "vanilla" sex and every other kind. It's all just part of various spectra, no?
The most important thing to find out on a first date is whether you have compatible values and world-view. Be clever: you can get that information in many ways. Do you want to be friends ... is this the sort of person you would trust with your secrets?
You're a professional: can you objectify your profession enough to talk about it dispassionately?
What will be important to the right man isn't necessarily what you do, but how you think about it and how you see yourself.
Forget the books: go with your instincts.
Is your Inner Relationship Coach keeping you single?
What Do You Need To Let Go Of To Find Your True Love?
Are You Ready For True Love Or Just Wanting It?
Do You Know Your Relationship Set-Point?
How to Change Your Dating Karma
Facing the Fear to Get to Love
Building Dating Confidence by Facing What You Fear
Why You Shouldn’t Trust Your Feelings In Relationships
Romancing Yourself To Love
ARE WE ALL JUST JADED HAGS? WHETHER TO GOOGLE YOUR DATE OR NOT
How Not To Get Beaten Up In a Club
So I'm not bitch enough?
Oooooooooooookaaaaayyyyy....that might explain some things....
Thanks, Mistress Matisse!!!
Posted by auntie grizelda on June 7, 2010 at 3:14 AM · Report
23
@12: I second that--most dating books really ARE crap. And WTF is with "dating COACHES"?!?
Soooooo
I'm not bitch enough?... hmmmmmmmm....that might explain some things....
Thanks, Mistress Matisse!
Posted by auntie grizelda on June 7, 2010 at 3:19 AM · Report
24
Sigggghhh..sorry
slow computer again!
Posted by auntie grizelda on June 7, 2010 at 3:20 AM · Report
Unregistered Comment on June 8, 2010 at 1:58 AM25
26
The reason these books don't speak to you, MM, is because you actually have two brain cells to rub together. It has nothing to do with "normal".
Maybe your inability to have a good date with a "normal" is because 1) you don't share the same interests and 2) you are filled with contempt for them.
Or maybe you're picking jerks. Maybe the same jerks who decided the key to finding a woman was to "be more jerky".
Posted by ams_ on June 8, 2010 at 3:24 PM · Report
27
Dating is artificial and silly. Of course it's hard to do. It's much better to hit on your friends girlfriends. That way, you'll have no friends (which are a waste of time, really) and you won't have to go on dates (which are a waste of time, really). Eventually, you'll either wind up with an ex-friend's girlfriend or run out of friends. Which is OK, because without any friends or a girlfriend, you'll have plenty of time to find new friends.
See? Easy.
Posted by ctmcmull on June 8, 2010 at 4:26 PM · Report
28
Look, the problem is that dating advice books are not like books about BDSM. Your BDSM books are how-to's on a specialized topic -- they're the sexual equivalent of "Perl for Dummies." Dating books are for people who have not mastered a basic life skill; their target audience is unsuccessful, broken-spirited, and kind of dumb. They're the sexual equivalent of "The Secret."
It's not that straight/vanilla people are so awful compared to the BDSM community. It's that people who need a book to tell them how to go on an ordinary date are pretty screwed up.
Posted by drizzle89 on June 8, 2010 at 5:41 PM · Report
29
I thought your column was kind of sweet. I'm not really sure I see your dichotomy between "vanilla" sex and every other kind. It's all just part of various spectra, no?
The most important thing to find out on a first date is whether you have compatible values and world-view. Be clever: you can get that information in many ways. Do you want to be friends ... is this the sort of person you would trust with your secrets?
You're a professional: can you objectify your profession enough to talk about it dispassionately?
What will be important to the right man isn't necessarily what you do, but how you think about it and how you see yourself.
Forget the books: go with your instincts.