Boys Talk
Description
The past year I had decided to journey of dating, that I will expand my curiosity and stay on my search for Mr. Handsome Wonderful . . . fingers crossed. Then it dawned on me, maybe I need to try reading some dating advice books; maybe there is some trick to it that I am just not catching onto. I bought He’s just not that into you by Greg Behrendt, Text, Love, Power. The Ultimate Girls Relationship Guide for Texting and Dating in the New Millenium by Vanessa Taylor, and The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags by Natasha Burton and Julie Fishman. All the titles sound great and convincing with amazing tips to get on my path ready to shimmy for some hot dates. Ladies, please it’s all a waste of money. The only way any girl is going to get their money worth is to actually get your ass out there to date and give yourself your own experiences and lessons to go by. Sure, it is not all bad reading. The authors do hit great refresher points to motivate, show their input from their experiences, as the reader you will get a good chuckle out of it, also a reminder of other silly dating scenes out there and how you are not the only one. However, unless you are in that same scenario, you have the same personality and character as the author, and going out with the same exact person they are referring to . . . GREAT, you found your best references. The only thing is realistically unless you are looking for some comical relief on how these rules are developed and for the purposes to play the ‘dating game’, my point relies on that every situation varies. All the lessons learned, what to do it, and how to do it are all based on your personal involvement. You, a great catch, seeking romance deserve your chance and all of it depends on your own dating experiences and tell tales. If anyone is going to rely on books to get you Mr. Wonderful, how hard you play to get, and how you act towards an approach from him; are you kidding me, I might as well prepare myself like I am going into a war zone in a tank top and flip flops to keep up with all the guidelines, responses, and RULES to keeping him interested, yeesh. If I rely on the books and experiences of other’s stories to rule out my choices of candidates one, two, or three; guess what, who the hell is going to be left? My personality and characteristics are not based off the author’s matchmaker qualities. So get out there, ladies, and conquer the long line of douche bags (they are not all bad I promise) to find your Mr. Right.
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I figured the only way I would be able to find out for myself what it is that men think, want, and look for is to conduct my own testosterone survey of five well-cooperating males from different walks of life that I have been associated with; whether they are a friend of mine, co-worker, peer, past-dater, or ex-friend with benefits. In order for myself to understand and put into perspective the males’feedback for a dating woman’s sake. I mean I think have a pretty positive outlook and mentality of what to do before, on, and after a date in my past. Nonetheless, let’s face the facts; I’m not getting any younger here. I actually need all the help I can get and afar from lala-land books advice. I’ll take a reality check please.
To start it off, I selected a few questions from certain points of these books after reading; spending more emphasis on my own questions being involved in today’s tactics of wooing. The selected five guys are all from different walks of life, ethnicity, ages, occupations, relationship statuses, etc.; I wanted to make sure none of the five men had any connections to one another except through yours truly by association. At the end of each male interview, I also asked their personal views on myself as a woman, a choice of date, person, friend, turnoffs, and good or bad qualities just to keep it truthful as possible. It wasn’t the opportunity for them to bash me or fill in my insecurities, I wanted to know the God Honest truth what males see in me as a “potential female dater”. Though, the only way I have to be realistic and get a clue about situations is to talk to the boys (guy friends) for guidance. Don’t get me wrong, I love my girl talks always but for once, I thought I share my fellow friend’s boy talks (I swear I don’t have a penis in between my legs); their views, and maybe not so much secretive, but definitely valuable tips in their opinions to help a girl out. The main point is based on their own dating outlook with personal feedback, lessons, and advice.
Unfortunately, to understand the wild chase of dating I had to torture myself first by contacting what was a short lived over two years ago ‘friends with benefits’. The lucky candidate for this choice is Rich, all names have been changed for privacy; a thirty-six-year-old single entrepreneur (if that’s what he calls it, the only thing I have seen him to do is clubbing) who I met online through mutual friends. My second choice was a two-dates leading into two-quickie sex session within maybe forty minutes (with about a twenty-five to thirty minute breather break in-between both sessions for him); soon afterwards to pull a ghost act, we have up a twenty-five-year-old single business owner called John. I met John working at a ladies club. Although, after he had pull the disappearing act and a couple weeks later he was kind enough to answer my phone call to do my interview survey; how nice of him. Shortly a week later, I called John to only get a text back in return reading, ‘Sorry, he couldn’t answer that he met someone and still wanted to be friends’. You’re kidding me! Moving on next up we have a forty-one-year-old; recently separated relationship status, just a friend, and full-time co-worker name Jason. I promise you I didn’t sleep with this one or the next ones, we are simply friends. Following in interview sequence, I introduce you to Dan, a thirty-three-year-old single, veteran, and full-time student. Dan and I met through classes we have taken together and we hung out a couple times as friends. Last but not least a high school friend’s baby brother, twenty-eight-year-old, government contractor and “effin single, effin ready to mingle” prefers to be called G-money (G$).
My first question relied on the text dating approach and how they felt asking a woman of interest out via text message. If she never responded or responded very little, would they actually pick up the phone to call her? According to book Text, Love, Power. The Ultimate Girls Relationship Guide for Texting and Dating in the New Millennium by Vanessa Taylor, “The Hard-to-get girl doesn’t respond to texts and if she does, its hours later. If he asks you out he better ask by Wednesday to go out Saturday or guess what you don’t have a date for Saturday night.” Oh, Honey Boo-Boo Chile please! If I get asked out on Thursday or even Friday before a Saturday date, I am not going to be bent out of shape as long as I have a day or earlier in the day in advance notice. Of course, I am busy during week and weekends a lot but if I have spare time for that evening or the next; I mean why not I don’t see a problem with it as long as it’s not right at the last minute, late night, and obvious last choice to ask out. As human beings, whether a female or male, with what I like to call ‘a life’our schedules and free time varies. As a woman, I’m not going to take the extra unnecessary effort of, “excuse while I refer back to my dating references rule books on how to respond to this.” All five guys’responses to this question were that they didn’t really care for texting too much.
Now brace yourself ladies for this one, Rich claim he would actually call the girl if no responses and that’s only if he is indeed interested but she has to be a “classy girl and dress nice.” I am guessing nothing else matters besides dressing nice. Now say, chickadee is interested and the flirting is heavy so now the numbers are exchanged. The woman contacts you first, whether text message or a phone call, say even if you contact first and she responds right away; how do you take it? Is it a sign of desperation or that you see maybe she was waiting by the phone? And all I have to say to Rich’s response is, “What the HELL was I thinking even for sexual entertainment?” Oh well, I must have been in my vulnerability stage of romance actually G-money reassured me I was. Yeah we have all been there, ladies, don’t judge me. Back to the lucky winner’s answer, Rich saw it as they are expressing their level of sexual interest, obviously. As he chuckles, there was evidently a sexual attraction there. No, he doesn’t see it as desperation; however a “classy girl” will give herself more time. Okay, I’m curious to know “What is your definition of this ‘classy girl.’“ Rich responds, “A classy girl is respectful girl who has a stable job, dresses classy and nice, responds to him to go places when he invites, she has her priorities straight, and she is probably busy.” When I asked Rich about the approach of “call me,” is it considered as a “magic trick” like referred in the book He’s just not that into you by Greg Behrendt. Basically, is it really the lazy way to trick a girl into calling you so you don’t have to put in any effort into asking her out? Rich actually responded with, “It works for me EVERY time! When I like a girl and I am interested, I always act as an alpha male actually I am an alpha male because I’m so confident”. Just for the record, my insides are ripping apart from holding in my laughter yet I am trying so hard to keep my silence and composure for the questioning—me, the writer. Rich continues, “I give her my number; basically the ball is in her court. I will Facebook her and I won’t ever ask for her number but I give her mine and tell her call me. I find out if we have any mutual Facebook friends so I know how to get a hold of her”. Sounds familiar, hmmm. Richie then goes into if she contacts right away or she is first to text, right away she wants him sexually (I’m actually beating off tons of women fighting for his body during this interview . . . ppfff) because once again a “a respectable girl will give herself more time.” WTF!! Ok, so I think I wasted plenty of time here and on to the next responses.
John, the twenty-five-year-old, considers himself to be more for the traditional phone call to ask the girl out or in person. John’s views seem to be a bit more traditional that he never expects a girl to call because most of the time she won’t (thought after his disappearing ghost act like Houdini, I don’t know that I could say he is traditional). If she doesn’t show any effort or responds to him, John takes it she isn’t interested in him and he doesn’t see it as she is playing hard to get. If it takes her the next day to respond to him, John develops the “whatever-tude.” He never expects the woman to contact first because he feels that she won’t so he does. However, John states after exchanging numbers or just responding to him, “But if she does contact first . . . BOOM, it’s because she felt a physical attraction”. Otherwise, John does make the effort to contact the girl to get to know, set up on a date, and he does feel like that he shall give the girl a two-three day advance to ask out before set date. He doesn’t see anything wrong with a last minute invite for a date as a problem just simply that she has spare time and so does he.
Similarity to John, Jason response was that he didn’t like texting at all either. Jason was more emphasis that it is part of today’s society and he just can’t stand it because there is no tone, no emotions, and misunderstandings of character through messages. He feels you can’t get to know a person through texting. Jason bluntly understands that the woman may have a busy schedule and that it can take a few hours to respond even a couple days later depending how caught up in her life she is. However, if it takes more than a couple days then he has developed that “I don’t give a shit” attitude. Jason simply felt if she didn’t answer his text when he asked her out, he’s not calling because she got the text message. In his words, “she obviously didn’t want to go out”. Jason states he isn’t going to waste his time if she is not interested, “it’s like chasing my tail if I know where it’s at”. Now, if Jason gets an instant text back from so-called potential lady interest then he sees possible attention on her part. From there, he goes with what he knows and takes it after that slowly getting to know her. He doesn’t see something wrong with the chic contacting first, he sees more to it as putting the ball in her court to show she is interested. He never sees timing as desperate, to Jason it’s her actions and how she presents herself. In general, Jason added most women he knows as female friends, he’s learn they want to fuck, they don’t want a liar, they want a friend with benefits, or whatever other names they are calling it nowadays. In reality, he doesn’t think most people are honest with themselves and others around them about dating and relationships. Bottom line, “nobody knows what they want”. I feel your frustration, buddy.
Dan has had yes’ and no’s in response to text dating; he doesn’t see a problem with it. He takes the first step in asking a woman out; he never asks or gives a woman his number to call him. Dan saw it a bit differently, she can be busy and take time to respond and if she does when she does he takes it she’s interested. He will only keep her number for a week and if he hasn’t heard a peep or a response . . . one thing is happening and he is deleting her number from his contacts. On the other hand, Dan didn’t see anything wrong with quick responses or that is desperate it’s simply she has free time on her hands. With short notices planning, he doesn’t like it at all when it’s done last minute. According to Dan, it shows she’s inconsiderate. Who can argue with him on that one, I don’t like it either; although, I have done it once or twice in my past, Guilty.
G-money on the other hand never asked a girl out on a date via text message. He prefers face to face or phone call communication. He finds texting to be part of adapting with the whole joneses, it’s convenient for communication. He really doesn’t have anything negative nor positive thoughts on it, just that it is part of today’s society. Once G$ puts on his A-game, he strides in with a ‘4 strikes you’re out’ strategy plan. He has the woman’s number, he will call twice considered the first two strikes if no responses then he will shoot a text to nudge her on the third attempt. After that he will try again with a last fourth contact which is considered as his third call outreach, he does take into consideration she could be getting the messages and gives her the benefit of the doubt that she’s just busy. He mentions it has taken himself a little while to return calls/text messages about a week later, as a person you never know what’s going on in a person’s life. On the other hand, if she still doesn’t answer or respond, point blank she isn’t interested. G-money doesn’t take it personal if he doesn’t receive a response. He sees it that he is considered most women’s type but knows that he can’t be every woman’s type. When asked about women playing hard to get, G$ claims women can play a lot of games. He sees that most women will make a man work and play hard to get but with today’s ways of thinking, he also sees many women who are “thirsty” (blunt and aggressive) and know what they want. Now, he doesn’t see quick responses or last minute outings to him asking as to be desperate but G$ says it’s all just reading into behavior and tone from a woman. He says there has been a time he may ask a girl out after running errands and getting a fresh cut, he may later look in the mirror and say, “Damn you looking fine as hell, you need to do this tonight”. He will call a ‘potential interest’ up and see what’s up with her if she doesn’t have any plans, if not then great they will just be two good looking out enjoying a night together. Now, if she is hyper responsive and coming at you with “OMG LIKE YEA YEA.” G-money shares a story where one young lady he met at the club and they were going to swap numbers, he hands her his cell number for her to put in her contact number to save. However, Lady-love pulled a slick move on dear G$ and called her phone with his phone so she would have his number. Not even after thirty minutes after leaving the club, Lady-love was struck by Cupid and blowing up G$’s cell phone repeatedly. In the words of my dear friend G$, “Yeah that is desperate as fuck.” So ladies, please make a note not to act like that ever.
I questioned in regards what goes through a man’s mind when his date steps out smoking hot and he is standing there dressed casually in jeans and a tee. Are you wondering if she dresses like this for other guys, do you feel underdressed, or like you have to win her over and pursue her before someone else does? This answer is for all the ladies out there who think a guy is sweating you or stroking your own ego that he is worried how hot you are. Amazingly, all five of the men answered the same. All five men expressed how they have confidence that they are not under-dressed or worried about if she dresses like that for other guys. Rich relates this through, “High School Musical, it’s like the girl who is fabulous dressed but her personality is off-handled. The clothes don’t make her but it shows she cares about how she looks yet it can also back-fire and be dangerous if she’s cocky and high-maintenance”. Yea, I am still at the beginning of this question-response in beginning to relation to the kid program ‘High School Musical’. John states, “Look at his arms and body, he looks good in jeans and short sleeve shirt no matter what. That he doesn’t feel he has to pursue her, he will get her attention but if she wants to go somewhere else, he isn’t going to be in a pissing contest with other guys”. Jason feels he is confident and will feel underdressed for a split second then he will get over it. He also brings up how he sees it that ‘women dress up for everything and clothes are not what is going to seal the deal’ (the connection). Dan’s response is more along the line of “Dammmnnnn but he has enough confident and it wouldn’t bother him if she dresses like that for other men.” Now, G$ is too confident and is into fashion, he is going to be fresh on a date. Women like confidence and he’s not worried how she dresses for other dates. Ladies, there you have it’s great to dress hot and have your level of confidence on blast but don’t think for one second at all he is stressing how hot you are for others or intimidated by it. More than likely, just as confident as you are — so is he. Unless he has some serious self-issues, insecurities, or control issues; according to G$ whom wanted shared his sincerity concern on this topic, “if a man is having self-issues he needs to deal with that will mess up a relationship. You have to learn how to read a person and pay attention”.
My last question was optional and directed more towards my own self-purposes as a person, friend, ex-intimate whatever, dater, peer, etc.; what are their personal opinions, good/bad, turnoffs, likings, etc. about me? Trust me, during all interviews I heard it all, which I thank for their honesty from I am a fantastic great catch, attentive, funny, caring, self-less, hard to find personality, turned off by how I don’t like to hang out much and I call it an early night, I threw one guy off with after text how ‘I shouldn’t have done this’, ‘nice ass he wouldn’t mind tapping again but whatever I wasn’t his type to pursue a relationship with anyways’ (guess which one that came from), ‘too nice’, ‘which border did I cross over and how; because I’m a fantastic person but seriously he wouldn’t mind boning me one day’, ‘I will eventually find my lucky guy and he will definitely have his hands full but I am a great catch’, to ‘driven and strong dedication’. My reason being for this last and meaningful question about me was to show ladies out there in order to live and learn; you have to be willing through your own experiences to meet Mr. Right. We may have to put up with living our own tales to tell. The only person to draw that boundary of your own preferences and red-flags to know what we want in life is YOU. If you want to look for advice through a book that is great and awe-inspiring exercise for the brain; however, you have to let your hair down a little and get out there. Don’t sit at home wondering, depending on a book, on other’s red flags, or whining, “Why haven’t I met him—get up and do something about it. Learn through your own eyes.”
I personally would like to thank the five men who all cooperated and were kind enough to answer my questions for this article. You guys are phenomenal even if we only mounted to sex and nothing more . . . winks.
(As a side note reminder and precautionary, remember during this adventure don’t put up with bullshit or any form of abuse either. Think smart, be safe, wear condoms, get checked regularly at doctors because mishaps can happen, and if at any point if you are experiencing abuse please seek an immediate women advocacy for help to get out.)
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I figured the only way I would be able to find out for myself what it is that men think, want, and look for is to conduct my own testosterone survey of five well-cooperating males from different walks of life that I have been associated with; whether they are a friend of mine, co-worker, peer, past-dater, or ex-friend with benefits. In order for myself to understand and put into perspective the males’feedback for a dating woman’s sake. I mean I think have a pretty positive outlook and mentality of what to do before, on, and after a date in my past. Nonetheless, let’s face the facts; I’m not getting any younger here. I actually need all the help I can get and afar from lala-land books advice. I’ll take a reality check please.
To start it off, I selected a few questions from certain points of these books after reading; spending more emphasis on my own questions being involved in today’s tactics of wooing. The selected five guys are all from different walks of life, ethnicity, ages, occupations, relationship statuses, etc.; I wanted to make sure none of the five men had any connections to one another except through yours truly by association. At the end of each male interview, I also asked their personal views on myself as a woman, a choice of date, person, friend, turnoffs, and good or bad qualities just to keep it truthful as possible. It wasn’t the opportunity for them to bash me or fill in my insecurities, I wanted to know the God Honest truth what males see in me as a “potential female dater”. Though, the only way I have to be realistic and get a clue about situations is to talk to the boys (guy friends) for guidance. Don’t get me wrong, I love my girl talks always but for once, I thought I share my fellow friend’s boy talks (I swear I don’t have a penis in between my legs); their views, and maybe not so much secretive, but definitely valuable tips in their opinions to help a girl out. The main point is based on their own dating outlook with personal feedback, lessons, and advice.
Unfortunately, to understand the wild chase of dating I had to torture myself first by contacting what was a short lived over two years ago ‘friends with benefits’. The lucky candidate for this choice is Rich, all names have been changed for privacy; a thirty-six-year-old single entrepreneur (if that’s what he calls it, the only thing I have seen him to do is clubbing) who I met online through mutual friends. My second choice was a two-dates leading into two-quickie sex session within maybe forty minutes (with about a twenty-five to thirty minute breather break in-between both sessions for him); soon afterwards to pull a ghost act, we have up a twenty-five-year-old single business owner called John. I met John working at a ladies club. Although, after he had pull the disappearing act and a couple weeks later he was kind enough to answer my phone call to do my interview survey; how nice of him. Shortly a week later, I called John to only get a text back in return reading, ‘Sorry, he couldn’t answer that he met someone and still wanted to be friends’. You’re kidding me! Moving on next up we have a forty-one-year-old; recently separated relationship status, just a friend, and full-time co-worker name Jason. I promise you I didn’t sleep with this one or the next ones, we are simply friends. Following in interview sequence, I introduce you to Dan, a thirty-three-year-old single, veteran, and full-time student. Dan and I met through classes we have taken together and we hung out a couple times as friends. Last but not least a high school friend’s baby brother, twenty-eight-year-old, government contractor and “effin single, effin ready to mingle” prefers to be called G-money (G$).
My first question relied on the text dating approach and how they felt asking a woman of interest out via text message. If she never responded or responded very little, would they actually pick up the phone to call her? According to book Text, Love, Power. The Ultimate Girls Relationship Guide for Texting and Dating in the New Millennium by Vanessa Taylor, “The Hard-to-get girl doesn’t respond to texts and if she does, its hours later. If he asks you out he better ask by Wednesday to go out Saturday or guess what you don’t have a date for Saturday night.” Oh, Honey Boo-Boo Chile please! If I get asked out on Thursday or even Friday before a Saturday date, I am not going to be bent out of shape as long as I have a day or earlier in the day in advance notice. Of course, I am busy during week and weekends a lot but if I have spare time for that evening or the next; I mean why not I don’t see a problem with it as long as it’s not right at the last minute, late night, and obvious last choice to ask out. As human beings, whether a female or male, with what I like to call ‘a life’our schedules and free time varies. As a woman, I’m not going to take the extra unnecessary effort of, “excuse while I refer back to my dating references rule books on how to respond to this.” All five guys’responses to this question were that they didn’t really care for texting too much.
Now brace yourself ladies for this one, Rich claim he would actually call the girl if no responses and that’s only if he is indeed interested but she has to be a “classy girl and dress nice.” I am guessing nothing else matters besides dressing nice. Now say, chickadee is interested and the flirting is heavy so now the numbers are exchanged. The woman contacts you first, whether text message or a phone call, say even if you contact first and she responds right away; how do you take it? Is it a sign of desperation or that you see maybe she was waiting by the phone? And all I have to say to Rich’s response is, “What the HELL was I thinking even for sexual entertainment?” Oh well, I must have been in my vulnerability stage of romance actually G-money reassured me I was. Yeah we have all been there, ladies, don’t judge me. Back to the lucky winner’s answer, Rich saw it as they are expressing their level of sexual interest, obviously. As he chuckles, there was evidently a sexual attraction there. No, he doesn’t see it as desperation; however a “classy girl” will give herself more time. Okay, I’m curious to know “What is your definition of this ‘classy girl.’“ Rich responds, “A classy girl is respectful girl who has a stable job, dresses classy and nice, responds to him to go places when he invites, she has her priorities straight, and she is probably busy.” When I asked Rich about the approach of “call me,” is it considered as a “magic trick” like referred in the book He’s just not that into you by Greg Behrendt. Basically, is it really the lazy way to trick a girl into calling you so you don’t have to put in any effort into asking her out? Rich actually responded with, “It works for me EVERY time! When I like a girl and I am interested, I always act as an alpha male actually I am an alpha male because I’m so confident”. Just for the record, my insides are ripping apart from holding in my laughter yet I am trying so hard to keep my silence and composure for the questioning—me, the writer. Rich continues, “I give her my number; basically the ball is in her court. I will Facebook her and I won’t ever ask for her number but I give her mine and tell her call me. I find out if we have any mutual Facebook friends so I know how to get a hold of her”. Sounds familiar, hmmm. Richie then goes into if she contacts right away or she is first to text, right away she wants him sexually (I’m actually beating off tons of women fighting for his body during this interview . . . ppfff) because once again a “a respectable girl will give herself more time.” WTF!! Ok, so I think I wasted plenty of time here and on to the next responses.
John, the twenty-five-year-old, considers himself to be more for the traditional phone call to ask the girl out or in person. John’s views seem to be a bit more traditional that he never expects a girl to call because most of the time she won’t (thought after his disappearing ghost act like Houdini, I don’t know that I could say he is traditional). If she doesn’t show any effort or responds to him, John takes it she isn’t interested in him and he doesn’t see it as she is playing hard to get. If it takes her the next day to respond to him, John develops the “whatever-tude.” He never expects the woman to contact first because he feels that she won’t so he does. However, John states after exchanging numbers or just responding to him, “But if she does contact first . . . BOOM, it’s because she felt a physical attraction”. Otherwise, John does make the effort to contact the girl to get to know, set up on a date, and he does feel like that he shall give the girl a two-three day advance to ask out before set date. He doesn’t see anything wrong with a last minute invite for a date as a problem just simply that she has spare time and so does he.
Similarity to John, Jason response was that he didn’t like texting at all either. Jason was more emphasis that it is part of today’s society and he just can’t stand it because there is no tone, no emotions, and misunderstandings of character through messages. He feels you can’t get to know a person through texting. Jason bluntly understands that the woman may have a busy schedule and that it can take a few hours to respond even a couple days later depending how caught up in her life she is. However, if it takes more than a couple days then he has developed that “I don’t give a shit” attitude. Jason simply felt if she didn’t answer his text when he asked her out, he’s not calling because she got the text message. In his words, “she obviously didn’t want to go out”. Jason states he isn’t going to waste his time if she is not interested, “it’s like chasing my tail if I know where it’s at”. Now, if Jason gets an instant text back from so-called potential lady interest then he sees possible attention on her part. From there, he goes with what he knows and takes it after that slowly getting to know her. He doesn’t see something wrong with the chic contacting first, he sees more to it as putting the ball in her court to show she is interested. He never sees timing as desperate, to Jason it’s her actions and how she presents herself. In general, Jason added most women he knows as female friends, he’s learn they want to fuck, they don’t want a liar, they want a friend with benefits, or whatever other names they are calling it nowadays. In reality, he doesn’t think most people are honest with themselves and others around them about dating and relationships. Bottom line, “nobody knows what they want”. I feel your frustration, buddy.
Dan has had yes’ and no’s in response to text dating; he doesn’t see a problem with it. He takes the first step in asking a woman out; he never asks or gives a woman his number to call him. Dan saw it a bit differently, she can be busy and take time to respond and if she does when she does he takes it she’s interested. He will only keep her number for a week and if he hasn’t heard a peep or a response . . . one thing is happening and he is deleting her number from his contacts. On the other hand, Dan didn’t see anything wrong with quick responses or that is desperate it’s simply she has free time on her hands. With short notices planning, he doesn’t like it at all when it’s done last minute. According to Dan, it shows she’s inconsiderate. Who can argue with him on that one, I don’t like it either; although, I have done it once or twice in my past, Guilty.
G-money on the other hand never asked a girl out on a date via text message. He prefers face to face or phone call communication. He finds texting to be part of adapting with the whole joneses, it’s convenient for communication. He really doesn’t have anything negative nor positive thoughts on it, just that it is part of today’s society. Once G$ puts on his A-game, he strides in with a ‘4 strikes you’re out’ strategy plan. He has the woman’s number, he will call twice considered the first two strikes if no responses then he will shoot a text to nudge her on the third attempt. After that he will try again with a last fourth contact which is considered as his third call outreach, he does take into consideration she could be getting the messages and gives her the benefit of the doubt that she’s just busy. He mentions it has taken himself a little while to return calls/text messages about a week later, as a person you never know what’s going on in a person’s life. On the other hand, if she still doesn’t answer or respond, point blank she isn’t interested. G-money doesn’t take it personal if he doesn’t receive a response. He sees it that he is considered most women’s type but knows that he can’t be every woman’s type. When asked about women playing hard to get, G$ claims women can play a lot of games. He sees that most women will make a man work and play hard to get but with today’s ways of thinking, he also sees many women who are “thirsty” (blunt and aggressive) and know what they want. Now, he doesn’t see quick responses or last minute outings to him asking as to be desperate but G$ says it’s all just reading into behavior and tone from a woman. He says there has been a time he may ask a girl out after running errands and getting a fresh cut, he may later look in the mirror and say, “Damn you looking fine as hell, you need to do this tonight”. He will call a ‘potential interest’ up and see what’s up with her if she doesn’t have any plans, if not then great they will just be two good looking out enjoying a night together. Now, if she is hyper responsive and coming at you with “OMG LIKE YEA YEA.” G-money shares a story where one young lady he met at the club and they were going to swap numbers, he hands her his cell number for her to put in her contact number to save. However, Lady-love pulled a slick move on dear G$ and called her phone with his phone so she would have his number. Not even after thirty minutes after leaving the club, Lady-love was struck by Cupid and blowing up G$’s cell phone repeatedly. In the words of my dear friend G$, “Yeah that is desperate as fuck.” So ladies, please make a note not to act like that ever.
I questioned in regards what goes through a man’s mind when his date steps out smoking hot and he is standing there dressed casually in jeans and a tee. Are you wondering if she dresses like this for other guys, do you feel underdressed, or like you have to win her over and pursue her before someone else does? This answer is for all the ladies out there who think a guy is sweating you or stroking your own ego that he is worried how hot you are. Amazingly, all five of the men answered the same. All five men expressed how they have confidence that they are not under-dressed or worried about if she dresses like that for other guys. Rich relates this through, “High School Musical, it’s like the girl who is fabulous dressed but her personality is off-handled. The clothes don’t make her but it shows she cares about how she looks yet it can also back-fire and be dangerous if she’s cocky and high-maintenance”. Yea, I am still at the beginning of this question-response in beginning to relation to the kid program ‘High School Musical’. John states, “Look at his arms and body, he looks good in jeans and short sleeve shirt no matter what. That he doesn’t feel he has to pursue her, he will get her attention but if she wants to go somewhere else, he isn’t going to be in a pissing contest with other guys”. Jason feels he is confident and will feel underdressed for a split second then he will get over it. He also brings up how he sees it that ‘women dress up for everything and clothes are not what is going to seal the deal’ (the connection). Dan’s response is more along the line of “Dammmnnnn but he has enough confident and it wouldn’t bother him if she dresses like that for other men.” Now, G$ is too confident and is into fashion, he is going to be fresh on a date. Women like confidence and he’s not worried how she dresses for other dates. Ladies, there you have it’s great to dress hot and have your level of confidence on blast but don’t think for one second at all he is stressing how hot you are for others or intimidated by it. More than likely, just as confident as you are — so is he. Unless he has some serious self-issues, insecurities, or control issues; according to G$ whom wanted shared his sincerity concern on this topic, “if a man is having self-issues he needs to deal with that will mess up a relationship. You have to learn how to read a person and pay attention”.
My last question was optional and directed more towards my own self-purposes as a person, friend, ex-intimate whatever, dater, peer, etc.; what are their personal opinions, good/bad, turnoffs, likings, etc. about me? Trust me, during all interviews I heard it all, which I thank for their honesty from I am a fantastic great catch, attentive, funny, caring, self-less, hard to find personality, turned off by how I don’t like to hang out much and I call it an early night, I threw one guy off with after text how ‘I shouldn’t have done this’, ‘nice ass he wouldn’t mind tapping again but whatever I wasn’t his type to pursue a relationship with anyways’ (guess which one that came from), ‘too nice’, ‘which border did I cross over and how; because I’m a fantastic person but seriously he wouldn’t mind boning me one day’, ‘I will eventually find my lucky guy and he will definitely have his hands full but I am a great catch’, to ‘driven and strong dedication’. My reason being for this last and meaningful question about me was to show ladies out there in order to live and learn; you have to be willing through your own experiences to meet Mr. Right. We may have to put up with living our own tales to tell. The only person to draw that boundary of your own preferences and red-flags to know what we want in life is YOU. If you want to look for advice through a book that is great and awe-inspiring exercise for the brain; however, you have to let your hair down a little and get out there. Don’t sit at home wondering, depending on a book, on other’s red flags, or whining, “Why haven’t I met him—get up and do something about it. Learn through your own eyes.”
I personally would like to thank the five men who all cooperated and were kind enough to answer my questions for this article. You guys are phenomenal even if we only mounted to sex and nothing more . . . winks.
(As a side note reminder and precautionary, remember during this adventure don’t put up with bullshit or any form of abuse either. Think smart, be safe, wear condoms, get checked regularly at doctors because mishaps can happen, and if at any point if you are experiencing abuse please seek an immediate women advocacy for help to get out.)
Début
18.06.2025
Fin
27.06.2022